Sweeping Booty
by Kassiah
Summary: Will the help of fairy godmothers Emmett, Jasper, and Jacob be enough to help Bella awaken Sleeping Beauty Edward when the evil Jane causes him to get a paper cut and fall into a deep sleep? My entry for the Trust in Advertising Crackfic Contest. AH OOC


**This is my entry for the Trust in Advertising Crackfic contest. Lots of Thank Yous for this, my first fic and contest entry: - to RedVelvetHeaven, my BFF and reason for being; -to my beta, nicnicd, who is the bomb (I'm working on your cape bb); -to Caren, you'll always be my Disney Princess; -to all of the WC girls, especially for helping me think of names for blowjobs; -to all of the prereaders; -to MsKathy for her unrelenting support and for letting me plagiarize her disclaimer; and -to you, for reading. **

**Wow, the thought never crossed my mind that this story could be seen as a rapefic. That was certainly not my intention, on any level whatsoever. Yes, someone is asleep when the smexy times begin, but just as in the Disney story this is drawn loosely from, he wakes up and enjoys himself. Let this serve as a warning that there is a sex scene in this story in which one of the participants is asleep when it begins.**

**I don't own anything related to this story - all copyright and trademarked items mentioned herein belong to their respective owners.**

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**The Fuck of True Love**

**EPOV**

"Never forget to be true to yourself and go after your dreams, for dreams really do come true. Congratulations to the class of '98!" The thunderous applause which heralded the end of Angela Weber's valedictorian speech was earsplitting.

Rising from my uncomfortable seat in the folding metal chairs, I rolled my eyes at her words… "Dreams really do come true." I scoffed at her stupidity as I made my way towards the exit. I mean, seriously, what was Weber thinking with that speech?

Did she honestly think that life is just one great big fucking Disney film or something?

Making my way across the auditorium, I was searching for my parents when I crashed into something. I quickly reached out, grabbing and steadying a thin girl with dark brown hair.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking," I said, apologizing in her ear.

She didn't even open her eyes.

"Are you alright?" I asked, leaning closer to her so she could hear me over all the noise around us.

She didn't seem fully capable of standing upright by herself so I kept a firm grasp on her. I glanced around the crowd, hoping someone from her family was going to come to her aid. Damn, I wish she would get a grip; at this rate there was no way I was going to have time to fuck Jessica before my party.

Studying her intently, I realized I wasn't even sure if she went to Forks High.

Finally collecting herself, she looked me square in the eye. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you Edward."

So, she _did_ know me; perhaps I had seen her in my government class or something.

The look she gave me tugged at me in a way that I couldn't explain… It was almost like we were being pulled together by some gravitational force that was pulling her body straight towards my cock.

She paused for a moment before continuing.

"Congratulations," she said simply. Then she turned around and just fucking walked away, from me… Edward Cullen. She didn't even glance back my way, not even once. My face _always_ warranted at least a second glance, if not more.

What was wrong with her? It was almost as if she couldn't feel the same thing I was feeling in that moment. I shook my head, scowling after her as Jessica finally found me.

"Where have you _been_, Edward, we've been looking everywhere for you," She leaned up, pressing her lips to my cheek, and from the greasy feel of it, I just knew that she had left a red mark from her lipstick. Ugh, I hated when she did that shit. "Who was that girl you were talking to?" she glared at me.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "I ran into her and helped her up, that's all, baby." I couldn't get my mind off of the girl with her soulful brown eyes and her DSLs. Dude, I was getting hard just thinking about them wrapped around my…

Interrupting my reverie, she crossed her arms over her perfectly perky artificial tits. Of course, my eyes were instantly drawn to the sight.

_Oh, look! Boobs…_

"Don't call me _baby_, Edward. Call me princess," she huffed.

"Whatever. Come on, _princess_, let's see if you can king me on the way to my party," I propositioned, quirking my eyebrow at her while looking at her full red lips suggestively. Giggling, she tugged me by the hand over to my parents.

Thirty minutes later, we arrived at my house with the graduation festivities in full swing. I was _pissed _at Jessica.

Halfway through my 'graduation present', I hit a bump in the road while driving. She almost bit down on my dick at the surprise; I ended up pushing her off my lap, calling her a bitch in the process.

She may have screeched at me after that, but I ended up tuning her out as my thoughts travelled back to the brown haired girl and her full, pouty lips.

When we walked into the party, she squealed and started jumping up and down as soon as she saw all of her stupid cheer friends. Shaking my head at them, I walked off toward the bar figuring that was the best place to find my friends. They weren't there; I grabbed a drink anyway and gulped it down.

I was searching around for Em and Jazz when I saw long brown hair. Could she be the girl from the graduation, the one my cock was so drawn to? We _both _grew… excited at the thought of seeing her again. As she turned, I quickly realized that she wasn't the girl I was looking for.

_Well, damn. Down boy…_

Disappointed and deflating, I set out to try to find my friends again.

After a small search, I finally found them near the punch bowl. Emmett looked like an ass. Parked jauntily on top of his head was some kind of stupid rhinestone tiara. _Fairy_… Jasper looked just as ridiculous, wearing a pink tulle skirt over his pants. Clearly, they were on some shit that they weren't sharing with me.

Right before I reached them, Em started waving a glittery scepter around, trying unsuccessfully to put the tiara on my head.

"Dude, get the fuck off of me," I snarled at him as Jessica came up to me, draping herself over my arm.

My parents materialized and Emmett snickered as my mother called out that it was time for me to open 'graduation gifts.'

_Yeah, the one gift I _wanted_ was ruined by the doofus at my side…_

I got a bunch of cool stuff and money though, which was sweet.

Jazz tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a large envelope with a big red bow. I snickered when I noticed that he had Emmett's tiara perched on top of his head now. I opened it to reveal a gift certificate to the… spa?

"What the…" I looked over at him in wonder.

_Seriously, what the fuck were they on?_

He beamed at me, "It's the gift of beauty." I shook my head at him incredulously and looked up at my pal Jacob, who handed me a large box.

Before I could open it, Emmett bellowed, "Dude wait. You need something, the tiara or the wand, which is it?" Jacob shrugged his shoulders and pointed at the wand, to which Emmett pulled the tiara off his head and placed it on Jacob's.

Shaking my head at the crazy fools, I opened the box to reveal a Gibson L7-C Acoustic Archtop guitar. I lightly ghosted my fingers over the beautiful instrument.

"Wow, thanks man," I said excitedly.

"It's the gift of music," Jacob muttered.

Just as Emmett was about to pull something out of his pocket, there was a loud racket followed by sharp piercing shrieks somewhere near the entry way.

"Let me in! I should have been invited!"

Jane sauntered into the room, carrying the latest issue of French Vogue. Her eyes shown brightly and her hair stuck up in every direction. She looked absolutely livid… but still, I'd tap that. She was beautiful, even though she was a crazy shrieking bitch.

Struggling to free herself from the grip of my cousin Felix, she turned and pointed to me ominously.

"Fucker! You didn't invite me to your party before you go off to college to become some big advertising executive." Her breast heaved as she continued, "You didn't want to be with me and we could have been true love, Edward. I hope…" Her eyes glazed over as she looked around menacingly, "I hope you get a paper cut from one of your presentation boards… and die!"

There was a sharp collective intake of breath around the room as all eyes fell on me. Never one to miss a beat, Emmett cleared his throat. Terrified, I looked over to him, silently begging him to get me out of this mess.

"Chill homie," he whispered to me, keeping one eye on Jane as her screeching reached deafening levels. He reached out and grabbed the tiara from Jacob and placed it on his own head, thumping it once. With that, he waved his scepter around me and everyone laughed. I felt a warmth go through my body at that moment but shrugged it off.

"I got you. If that shit happens, you won't die; you'll just sleep till the right girl comes along and fucks you senseless." He nodded, proud of himself before he continued." Yeah, that will be the fuck of true love."

We watched as Felix escorted Jane out, leaving her magazine behind. We spent the rest of the night partying, having fun, and drinking.

**Seven Years Later**

Walking into my parent's house, I headed toward the stairs to get ready for the big bash they were hosting. My mother and sister would do anything to have a party, and it seemed that my birthday was cause enough for celebration.

I trudged up the stairs to my old room to drop off my clothes for the party as well as the overnight bag that I had packed. I looked around, disgusted with the new décor. Pink was splattered everywhere and Disney princesses adorned every flat surface available. Evidently, my old room was now Madison's playroom when she came over.

Feeling tired, I thought I would take a nap before the party. My mother knew that I didn't want a big to-do over this, but she insisted. She even took this opportunity to set me up on a blind date. As if I needed help finding someone. Just because my life was filled with meaningless relationships with women didn't mean I needed my mother to intervene.

Slamming the bedroom door, I strode over to the bed, flinging myself down. I huffed in annoyance when I glanced up at the Princess Jasmine poster hanging on the wall directly opposite the bed. I noticed a rhinestone tiara sitting on a shelf. I snickered, remembering Emmett and his stupid gift. Hopping up on the bed clad in ruffles and pink, I threw my arm over my eyes and tried to relax and rest.

There was a bang at the door before it swung forward, revealing my mother holding a phone in one hand and a notepad in the other. "Edward, darling, you're here. Happy Birthday, Baby!" She rushed forward planting a kiss on my forehead before enveloping me in a tight hug.

Her brow furrowed slightly as she took in my appearance. "Edward, you aren't planning to wear that to the party are you? Don't forget, I have someone very important for you to meet, and you cannot…"

Shaking my head, I cut her off before she could get all wound up. "First of all Mother, I am not wearing this to the party. And secondly, no wait… most _importantly_; it's not as if I'm gonna marry this girl. You don't need to interfere in my love life."

Her peals of laughter cut off whatever I was going to say next. I quirked my brow at her as she patted my cheek condescendingly. "Whatever you say, sweetheart," she uttered before continuing, "It's not as if I am interfering in your love life as much as it is helping fate along."

I rolled my eyes at her gall dramatically.

"Now Edward, I know it's your birthday, darling, but I do need you to pick up something from Freddie's Diner. I also think it'd be best if you were out for a few hours while we sort everything out here."

I ran my hand through my hair in frustration and groaned, "Mother, please. Don't you have someone else who can go by Freddie's for you? I just want to stay here and take a nap."

She opened her mouth to speak as her phone rang. "Esme Cullen here," she answered sweetly. "Oh yes, Felix, that's right… Come by around 9. Alright dear, see you then." She looked up at me, almost apologetically.

Ugh, Felix, my lame-ass cousin. I guess he was coming to my party tonight. "Don't worry about it, okay? I'm going out for awhile." I reached down to pick up my guitar, and got up from my spot on the bed. I ran my hand through my hair again, before turning around to kiss my mother goodbye. "And I will pick up your order from the Diner. What time do you need me back here?"

She grinned widely at me, knowing that she won not only the battle with me leaving the house and picking up her order, but with the girl as well. She smoothed back my hair and let her hand trail down my face. "Don't worry, Edward, you'll know." And with that she turned on her heel and walked out the door.

_Is she on something? Why does no one ever share with me…_

Shaking my head in disbelief, I glanced around the frilly pink room and thought back to my High School graduation party all those years ago. I snickered as I remembered the boys in their silly getups and how I'd thought the same thing about them that night.

A few minutes later, I padded down the stairs, Gibson guitar in hand, and headed towards the park that was across the street from Freddie's. I planned to hang out there awhile, pick up my mom's order, then come home and get this party over with.

I called Emmett on my way to the park and told him to come by if he was bored. He said he would call Jasper and meet me out there.

Sitting on the edge of a fountain at the park, I strummed my guitar. Even after all these years, it was still beautiful. I shook my head slightly at the memory of my graduation party and of Jacob giving it to me.

I thought back to my ridiculous room and started to play "When you wish upon a Star" as a few kids gathered around me.

A little girl with blonde hair cascading down her shoulders in ringlet curls and the biggest blue eyes I have ever seen looked up and me and whispered, "Can you play that song from Sweeping Booty?"

_I think Emmett has that on DVD…_

"Uh, sweeping…uh, sweeping booty?" I uttered, dumbfounded. "I'm not, I mean…"

Her mother interrupted, "I think she means Sleeping Beauty," she enunciated. "Once Upon a Dream."

"Hmmm," I mused, "let's see if I can remember that one." I strummed out a few chords on my guitar and hummed as I started to play the song.

"No you have to sing it," she mumbled to me, shaking her head and causing her curls to bounce around her.

I shrugged my shoulders and started to sing, "I know you, I walked with you…" I heard a tinkling giggle behind me and stopped abruptly. I turned in the direction of the sound and saw the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was stunning, with dark chestnut hair curled around her shoulders and deep brown eyes that seemed to search to the depths of my soul as her gaze penetrated mine. It felt oddly familiar.

"I heard you playing," she whispered. "It was like I was pulled here, by…by some magnetic force."

"Dance with me?" I didn't know where that question came from, but I knew that I had to have her in my arms. And with the way my cock was throbbing and pressing up against the buttons of my jeans, I knew that I had to get closer to her. It was like my cock was a compass and she was magnetic north.

I wrapped my arms around her and led her over to the clearing. Taking her left hand and placing it on my shoulder, I ghosted my fingers down her arm and along her body, resting my hand on her hip. I grabbed her right hand and held it, tiny in mine, preparing for our dance. She curled her fingers along my hand and stepped towards me as I pressed my fingers more firmly into her hip and pulled her towards me, closing the distance between our bodies.

I started to hum the song again. Suddenly, the kids that had previously gathered to hear me play came and circled around us, holding hands and singing the song. Birds chirped in harmony and flew in a circle overhead. Small woodland creatures appeared and filled in the gaps between the children. It was like the universe had aligned for me and this beautiful girl, and I knew she was the one, the one I had been hoping for.

Suddenly, there was a loud chiming coming from the large clock tower in the square across from the park, signaling the beginning of a new hour. I had to go or there would be hell to pay with my mother, but I couldn't leave her.

"I have to go," I whispered, pulling her closer to me and wrapping my arms around her for a brief moment before pulling away and dashing off.

"Wait! When will I see you again? I don't even know you…" she stammered, reaching out for me.

I looked around frantically, my vision quickly zeroing in on the gazebo in the corner of the park. "The gazebo. Midnight. Meet me there." I motioned with my hand in the direction of the structure several yards away.

She nodded in assent and ran up to me, pressing her lips to my cheek and whispering, "I'll see you… once upon a dream."

I grinned like a fool as I looked at her once more before turning and running towards Freddie's. I ran in and practically screamed at the girl behind the 'To-Go' counter that I had an order to pick up for Esme Cullen as I handed her my card to swipe. I grabbed the bag from her as I quickly signed my name to the receipt and sprinted out to my car.

Throwing the bag into the passenger seat floor, I pulled out my cell phone and quickly dialed my mother. She answered on the third ring, "Edward, sweetheart, please tell me that you're on your way home."

"I am on my way, and yes, before you ask, I picked up your take-out." I paused before continuing. "Mom, I…I met someone today in the park."

She inhaled deeply before launching in to her speech. "Darling, of course you are able to make your own decisions. I just hope that you did not embarrass me by inviting her to the party tonight. You know that I have arranged for you to have an escort, and my plans cannot be changed…"

_An escort? Tell me she didn't…_

"What kind of 'escort' Mother?" I asked fearfully. My sister Alice didn't get her meddling from just anywhere…

"Oh, hush," she scolded. "I didn't buy you a hooker." Her voice hissed out angrily at the last word. "How dare you sug-"

Cutting her off before she could continue, I interjected, "Wait! Mother, I wouldn't disrespect you that way, I just had to tell you that I met _her_."

She sighed into the phone before telling me to drive safely and ending the call.

Half an hour later, I pulled into the circular drive at my parents' house and was greeted by the loud guffaws of Emmett and Jasper. "Where's Jake?" I questioned. Both of them shook their heads as Emmett walked up to me, clapping me on the back and asking where I had been for so long.

We padded up the stairs to my, er… Madison's room, so that I could tell them about the girl in the park. "Guys I don't even know her name. But even I am not so much of an ass that I can't see fate staring me down. It was like her body was made to be held by me, like I was meant to f-"

I was cut off by my stupid cousin whisking into the room with a large object, shrouded in a white sheet. "Edward," he sneered, "I was hoping that I could catch you before the…celebration." He quickly glanced at Emmett and Jasper before continuing, "I would like to get your approval on this very important mark-up of your next big campaign." He raised his eyebrows at me and ducked his head slightly before saying ominously, "in private."

I thought the timing was weird but with Felix, everything was off. "Sure, cuz. Guys can you give us a minute?"

Emmett nodded, "yeah man, we'll be downstairs." He started for the door before stopping mid-step. "Wait, you didn't invite dream girl to your party tonight did you? Esme will shit a brick!" Felix perked up at this information, and I didn't want to discuss her in front of my creepy cousin.

"No, no, nothing like that," I assured him. I nodded before leaning in slightly to whisper conspiratorially, "I promised Esme I would meet this hosebeast she arranged. I told 'dream girl' I'd meet her in the park at the gazebo at midnight tonight. That should give me plenty of time to make the necessary appearances here before rushing out towards my destiny."

Emmett responded with a loud, booming laugh. "True dat, mah boy. I'll see you in a few." Jasper looked from me to Felix speculatively for a few moments before turning and following Emmett out the door.

I clapped my hands together once and rubbed them vigorously, anxious to get this party over and get back to the park. I turned to my cousin and smirked before saying, "all right, Felix, show me what you got."

He scowled before uncovering a presentation board that held a fucking Disney princess themed ad. I shook my head at him before I reached out to grab it.

That's the moment it happened. It was almost like I was in a trance as I took the board from him. I noticed that it was an old type, not the kind my parents used anymore, but I was powerless to stop myself from running my hand along the edge.

A sharp intaking of breath.

Pain searing through me as I sliced my finger on the edge of the presentation board.

Blood pooling from the paper cut.

Realization dawning, too late.

Then the blackness engulfing me.

**BPOV**

My phone buzzed yet again, another call from Rosalie signaling that she was waiting for me to meet her at her apartment so we could begin our afternoon activities. I rolled my eyes as I flipped open the phone and practically screamed, "Coming, Rose, I am walking out right now!"

The voice on the other end of the line was not that of my closest friend. "Bella, dear, it's Esme." She paused for a moment before continuing, "Esme Cullen. You do remember? " Her dulcet tones enveloped me and I was immediately ashamed of my blatant disregard for phone etiquette.

"Uh," I stammered for a moment before finally getting my bearings. "Esme, of course, I remember. I thought you were someone else. What can I do for you?" A moment of panic surged through me. "Were you calling to cancel?"

"Oh no dear, nothing like that. I was simply calling to be sure that you had directions," she said sweetly.

I sighed in relief, as I didn't know how I was going to explain it to Rosalie if Esme Cullen cancelled our plans for the evening. It wasn't like I was ecstatic about being set up on a blind date or even excited about going to the party at the Cullen estate. I was just happy to be going out and happy that I could do something that would thrill Rosalie, who was accompanying me to the party tonight for moral support. She was looking forward to me getting out more than I was, honestly.

"Bella, sweetheart, are you still there?"

Esme's voice snapped me out of my musings. "Yes, ma'am. We will be there tonight. At 9:00. Thank you so much for inviting me, again."

"Oh dear, it's my pleasure, I love to help fate." She snickered a bit before continuing, "I will see you and your wonderful friend tonight."

I nodded my head before hanging up and grabbing my keys and heading out to Rose's apartment. Ten minutes later, we were in Rose's car, on our way to lunch. She maneuvered neatly into a spot just outside of Freddie's Diner before turning to me and swishing her hair over her shoulder.

"Bella, I know that you don't want to hear this, but going to this party is going to help you." I petulantly crossed my arms over my chest as she continued. "You are going to meet some great people there tonight. And before that, I am going to make you look like a million bucks." Her huge blue eyes rested on me for a moment before she leaned over and squealed excitedly, "This mystery guy isn't gonna know what hit him!"

"Alright, Rose," I laughed, getting out of the car and pulling up on the sidewalk, "you are almost as bad as Esme Cullen! I am going to this party and he _won't _know what hit him." I stamped my foot in exasperation. "But first, I need sustenance. Bacon cheeseburgers it is!"

She shook her head at me as she sauntered off towards the diner. Just as she reached the door, I heard the chords of a guitar filtering through the air. The song was "When You Wish Upon a Star" and resonated through my body in an achingly familiar way, drawing me in and calling out to me. I had to follow it.

"R-Rose. You go on ahead and order. I'll be right back." I didn't wait for her to answer as I crossed the street, the notes leading me in a visible path towards my destiny. I stepped onto the green grass that signaled the beginning of the lush park.

Abruptly, the music faded, and my connection was lost. I saw a fountain in the distance with a man sitting on the edge. He had a mop of messy bronze hair and was surrounded by children. I heard the strum of his guitar again and knew that his music was what called to me. I picked up my pace and traversed over to him.

When he started to sing, "I know you, I walked with you…" I couldn't help myself as I began to laugh. He stopped and turned to me and I gasped as his emerald green eyes pierced me. He was beautiful, like someone out of a fairytale. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had seen him before.

I told him that I heard his guitar and tried to explain how I ended up here, at this very spot, and he just shrugged and requested, "Dance with me?"

This god, strumming a guitar, in a park, in the middle of the afternoon wanted me to dance with him. It was surreal… A force that was bigger than both of us seemed to close the distance between our bodies. He glided up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. We floated over to the clearing as he placed one of my hands in his and the other on his broad, muscular shoulder.

Pulling me closer, he started to hum the song. I giggled as the children who were gathered around him before came to circle around us. I heard birds chirping as I closed my eyes, relishing in this feeling of total completeness in his arms. I knew that I had seen this man before, but all thoughts and memories were clouded by the sensation of pure _magic_ that pulsed around us and through our bodies.

Like any true fairytale, our moment was disrupted with the loud sounds of the bell tower clock striking. He contradicted himself for a moment as he murmured, "I have to go," into my ear yet drew me closer to him. It seemed to take a conscious effort for him to separate our bodies. He ran his hands through his beautiful disarray of hair and gazed at me with a penetrating stare as he moved away from me and started towards the park exit.

I couldn't let this be the last time I saw him. He seemed frantic to leave but distressed at the prospect of leaving. I reached for him as I called out, "Wait! When will I see you again? I don't even know you…"

He looked around and motioned towards a structure in the corner of the park. Lifting his hand towards it, he muttered, "The gazebo. Midnight. Meet me there." His eyes pleaded with me to understand his need to depart.

I nodded and rushed back to him, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. I whispered, "I'll see you… once upon a dream," begging him not to forget me, to remember us and our connection.

He held me close to him for another moment before turning and dashing off. Just as he reached the park exit, he spun around and blew a kiss in my direction. I caught it and signaled pressing it to my heart. "Once upon a dream," I whispered as my phone started vibrating in my pocket.

Opening my phone, I muttered, "I'm coming, Rose." I didn't wait for her response as I snapped my phone shut.

A few hours later, we were still in the salon. I had been waxed, plucked, polished, and coiffed. We were almost done with our day of beauty as I was trying to explain to Rosalie for the last time what had happened in the park. Oddly enough, I couldn't rationalize it.

It defied logic.

"Look, Rosalie, I am done trying to justify myself to you," I huffed in annoyance at her. "I am going to go to this party with you. I will meet whoever this guy is that Esme wants me to meet. That's all—_meet him_. It's not like I was gonna marry him or anything, Rose..." I trailed off as I looked up at her, never willing to admit defeat, "but at midnight, I _will_ be at that gazebo." I sighed, frustrated at my inability to make her understand. "You can't fight fate."

She nodded at me, finally resigning herself to me. We headed back to our building to get dressed. On the elevator, I mentioned to her that we should drive separately, since I would be going to the park at midnight and she would need alternate transportation. Astonishingly, she agreed.

About an hour later, we were headed to our cars. "Rose, I am going to make a stop and pick up something for Esme. I'll meet you there."

She quirked her eyebrow at me and shook her head emphatically, "Oh no you don't, missy. You are going to this party."

"I promise. We're late already. If you go ahead, it won't make me look so bad. But there's no way in hell that I'm showing up at this party, late and empty-handed!"

She deliberated for a moment before agreeing. "Bella Swan, so help me God, you better not stand me up!" She huffed and walked to her car. "You have ONE hour," she tapped her watch emphatically before continuing, "or the hounds of hell will look absolutely domestic compared to me."

"I'll be there," I assured her.

I hopped in my car and headed for the park. There was a small wine shop near Freddie's and I could take a quick peek at the park, just in case he was early. Rose would kill me, but it was worth the risk.

I felt a rush of anticipation as I headed toward the gazebo. I could make out a figure shrouded in the darkness. When I reached the wooded structure, I realized that rather than my handsome fairytale come-to-life, a woman was perched there. She was flipping through a thick magazine and had a slightly manic look on her face.

"Well look who the cat dragged in…" she glared at me menacingly. Her features morphed from remarkable beauty into almost bestial in appearance.

Fear gripped me momentarily before I realized that I would do anything to recapture the sense of completeness I felt in the park earlier today. I stood up straight and tall and faced this dragon of a lady.

"Nothing you can do will keep us apart," I declared.

She cackled madly before her scream pierced the atmosphere around us, "Seize her!"

Then, I was enveloped in blackness.

**Emmett POV**

Two hours after the hottest chick I had ever seen walked through the door, I found myself pacing. It was the first time that I could remember not knowing _something_ that I could do.

All those years ago, when that crazy bitch Jane walked in and spouted off about Edward getting a stupid paper cut, I thought I would bring levity to the situation and wave that stupid wand around and counter-curse her "spell." Now my boy Edward was laid out from a wanking paper cut.

Dude… What. The. Fuck?

And the only thing I knew of to wake him up? That's right. The' Fuck of True Love'. I shook my head, trying to rattle the desperation and disbelief from my brain.

Sometime after Jazz and I walked out of Edward's room, I saw cuz'n Felix dash down the steps and out the door. Odd. But then again, he has always been a stuck-up little douchefuck. Who knows what he was up to?

But when Eddie didn't come down shortly thereafter, I went up to check on him. I wouldn't put it past him to try and slip out and head back for his secret rendezvous earlier than planned. That's when I found him.

Passed out.

On the floor.

With a fucking _paper cut_.

Not long after that, Jake and Jasper came rushing in, saying that the girl Eddie-boy was supposed to meet at this party was missing too. And her friend thought something bad had happened to her.

I told them to bring her up to Edward's room. My jaw nearly dropped to the floor when she walked through the door. Incredibly beautiful, legs for miles, hair made of golden spun silk. There was one major problem: she looked like she was going to fall apart.

She explained that her friend, Bella, had to make a stop to pick up something to bring over here. Now, she wouldn't answer her phone. Rosalie, that's the goddess, told us how Bella had met some guy at the park. And danced with him. And was supposed to be meeting him at midnight in a gazebo.

Well, fuck me.

I sat down on the edge of the sofa and leaned my elbows on my knees, cradling my head in my hands. I just needed to think. If my theories were correct, that was some kind of fairy-tale spell me and that slore Jane put on Edward. And by my calculations, if it could be just any fuck, Eddie would be hard as a rock right now with Blondie in the room. It would have to be the fuck of _true love_. Which must be where this dream girl came in, but where in the hell was she?

A slip of paper peeking out from under the edge of the bed caught my eye. I leaned forward, snatching it up to reveal a tabloid article, exclaiming Jane as a has-been supermodel. Then it all clicked.

_Oh, hell to tha nizzo. Imma 'bout to get crunk up in here…_

Felix was in cahoots with Jane. He must have dropped that paper when he handed Edward the weapon that gave him the paper cut! Felix was standing right here in this room when Edward revealed the deets on his rendezvous with "dream girl," which also meant that…Jane must have Bella.

The moment I came to this realization, I heard a loud howling screech coming up the stairs towards us. Tanya Denali burst forth into the room, dropping on her knees in front of Edward. "Oh god, Edward, how did this happen?"

I smirked at her and told her what happened, and that the only thing that could wake him up would be some straight up fucking. I tried to explain that it had to be the fuck of true love, not just any old piece of donk would do. She wasn't listening as I pointed towards his cock, attempting to show her that we'd know if she was the one.

Beginning to unbutton her skirt, she gestured for all of us to leave the room. Jasper shook his head and adamantly refused to leave Edward with her alone.

She shrugged her shoulders and leaned down to kiss Edward. Nothing happened.

She crawled under his blanket, attempting to do only God knows what to him. She snarled at his lack of response. She cried and pleaded with his dick, begging for it to rise. After a few minutes of her whining and sniveling about nothing happening, Jacob reached under the blanket and pulled her out, scratching and kicking like an animal.

She was crying as Jacob walked her over to the bedroom door and tossed her down the stairs. She screeched the whole way down, "he was meant for me…it was our destinyyyyyy!"

_Fo real, what's with dat noise? _

Just at that moment, Michael Newton came barreling in the room. "I want a shot at waking him up!" Jasper wrestled him to the floor and put him in a chokehold. Together, he and Jake drug him out into the hall and stepped back into the room.

"Trust. Ed will appreciate that we didn't give Newton the chance," Jasper grinned.

I looked at them, trying to figure out what our next move should be. Jasper glanced around the room, and declared, "Let's go get Edward's girl and bring her back here so she can fuck him senseless!"

Jacob hooped and hollered as he ran out of the room. I reached up on the shelf and grabbed our old tiara as I followed them out, stepping over Newton's cowering form.

Figuring the best place to begin would be the gazebo, we arrived at the park some time later. We found the French Vogue magazine, confirming our theory of Jane taking Bella. We headed back toward the Jeep and stopped at Freddie's diner, grabbing some bacon cheeseburgers and fries. Jasper luckily thought of Bella and picked up one for her, with extra tomato. How he knew that ish, I'd never comprehend.

About twenty minutes later, we arrived at Jane's crib. I grasped the tabloid article tightly in my hand and told Jacob to grab the takeout bag as I placed the tiara on Jacob's head. We crept around to the side of the house, listening for Bella or Jane inside the house. Felix screamed for Jane when he saw us approaching the back of the house. Jasper leapt onto him in an effort to muffle his scream, but too late. Jane heard us and quickly activated the alarm.

I heard Bella call out for help from the other side of the house and the three of us started to run in her direction. We got to the window, which was open but fitted with steel bars.

_What, are we at the fucking clank?_

"What's good Bella," I whispered into the window. She rose from her place on the floor but was chained to the end of the bed with a single shackle. She told us that the bed was bolted to the floor.

"I can fix that," Jake beamed. He dug into his pocket for a moment and pulled out a key. "Master key. You never know when you are going to need one of these." I raised my eyebrow at him and shook my head. He passed it through the bars to Bella and she immediately went to work on the lock.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." She started to tremble, but I reached out for her through the bars.

"No, no, Bella. You have to be strong," I murmured to her. I smoothed her hair back and continued, "Bella you have to get out of here. You have to come with us and wake Edward up."

"Ed-Edward?" she hiccupped. "Jane told me he was d-dead." She started to break down, but I quickly tightened my grip on her face.

"Bella, NO!" She looked up at me, shocked by my outburst. "Edward isn't dead, only sleeping, and you are his _dream_ girl. You have to get out of here." I shook the bars on the window and was dismayed to see that they were solid.

"Jane told me that I was too late. Why would he want me when he could have someone incredible and beautiful like her? Then she said he was dead."

I shook my head to reassure her. "Bella. You are the _one_. Now take this." As I reached in my pocket to pull out the tabloid article, Jacob placed the tiara on my head. I looked up at him questioningly.

He shrugged his shoulders and muttered, "Just in case. You never fucking know, dude."

Tilting the tiara slightly, none of that straight laced shit, 'yo, I reached my arm through the bars and pressed the paper into her shaking hand. "Take this; it's like a sword of truth. The truth is on your side, fair Bella." She opened up the paper and her back straightened up slightly as she quickly scanned the article. I reached down and brushed the tears from her cheeks. "Be strong. The truth shall set you free."

She looked up at me and smiled a beautiful brilliant smile. "Thank you. Thank all of you." She looked around the room, surveying it for any possible escape. "Jane set the alarm, and the only way that I am going to get out of here is to get that code. The doors won't open without it."

Jasper grinned and stepped forward, removing the tiara from my head and placing it on his own. "And that, Fair Bella, is where I come in. The shield of…virtue, if you will." He paused for a moment before he shoved the take-out bag through the bars and continued, "You are everything virtuous and good. Jane is everything vile and wicked. Let the contents of this bag and that picture set you free."

She opened the bag and scrunched her face up, questioning him. "You know how to use it, it's in you. You're the one."

She took a steeling, determined breath. "Meet me in the front of the house in five minutes with the horses saddled up. One of us is coming through that door before then."

We grinned at her and turned to run back towards the Jeep. I glanced over my twenty four carat gold rims, making sure that tweeker Felix hadn't fucked with them. Satisfied that he hadn't, I hopped in the ride, waiting a few minutes before firing it up the moment we saw Bella burst through the doors and launch herself across the porch. I was shocked when Jane didn't come running out after her. She sprinted across the yard and leapt up into the Jeep with Jacob's help.

"Yee Haw!" Jasper screamed as we sped off into the night.

**BPOV**

Free. And not just free from Jane and her evil clutches, but free to be with the man that I had dreamed about for most of my life. When Jane showed me those pictures of Edward, I remembered immediately; he wasn't just the Adonis from the park, he was the Edward Cullen, star of all my high school fantasies and most of the adult ones as well.

Then when I saw him in the park, it was as if everything was right in the world. We were powerless to stop the force that was bringing us together, even if we would have wanted to. I certainly didn't want to. He was everything I ever wanted.

When Jane and her thug Felix drug me from the gazebo, my lone thought was that Edward would come looking for me and think I stood him up. But when Jane told me she killed him, I felt like not only my heart was ripped from my body, but my soul was ripped from me, leaving a gaping chasm that would never be filled.

I felt so defeated. And then I heard the voices.

Felix's shout…

Emmett's reassurances…

And when they handed me the key, the picture, and the food, I honestly didn't know what to do with them. Then, I remembered their words, and I suddenly just _knew _that Edward was meant for me. There couldn't be a world without _him_ in it, so I knew I would be successful.

Jane turned to me in shock when I traipsed out of the room she had imprisoned me in, holding the picture and the bacon cheeseburger enticingly in her face. I inhaled the luscious scent of the meal and licked my lips in anticipation. She started to shriek at me before I stopped her by looking directly in her eyes.

"Give me the code," I said authoritatively.

She sneered back at me, as if she considered me insane. "Or what?" she taunted.

I waved the burger in her face as she wrinkled up her nose, feigning disgust. "I wouldn't eat that delicious looking burger, even if I could!" She stomped her foot and glared at me in protest before continuing, "I am a highly-sought-after supermodel!"

"Ah ha ha," I murmured. "No Jane. I know the truth." I waved the tabloid ad that declared her finished in her face. "I know you want this big, juicy burger. You've been denying yourself all these years. Give me the code, and I'll give you what you want."

She hesitated until she saw that I was getting ready t sink my teeth into her food. "No! Fine. The code is 3262," she screamed as she dove for the burger in my hand. I ran to the door and pressed the numbers into the panel.

The alarm deactivated and I flew out the door at breakneck speed, vaulting into the already moving Jeep. Emmett explained the situation to me on our way to the Cullen estate. I couldn't believe that Edward was the guy I was supposed to meet at the party anyway. I guess it really was fate.

We arrived at the house and Emmett made a path for us, pushing me up the stairs towards my destiny.

Walking into the sanctuary of the room, I saw him. He was draped in a beautiful pink chenille throw, reposed upon the bed, looking like an angel. His lips were soft and full, his bronze locks were falling gently across his forehead. He looked like a dream, like he was someone out of a fairytale.

As soon as I crossed over the threshold of the room, I saw the blanket that was covering him begin to tent around his midsection. Emmett started to clap, "Dude, its working. Look, its working already."

I looked at him like he was crazy. As much as I didn't want to do this in front of all these people, I simply couldn't help it. The forces of fate were propelling me forward. The closer I got to him, the higher the material of the covers got. Emmett started to giggle.

_Jesus, is he twelve? _

He leaned forward to whisper, "There is only one person and one thing that can wake him from his slumber." I smirked and quirked my eyebrow at him. He continued, "That person is you, fair Bella, and the only way to accomplish your goal is with fucking."

I bit back a laugh as he kept up with his explanation. "Not just any fucking will do. It must be the fuck of true love." He beamed at me as everyone in the room looked at Edward's erection, standing proud and true for everyone to see. "Hop on," Emmett concluded, waving his hands in front of Edward like some kind of sick Vanna White. "Your magic wand awaits you," he laughed, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Anxiety ripped through my body as I looked at him, lying there so peacefully. I was afraid that I wouldn't be enough to wake him up. That I would do this, give everything I am and everything I have to break this spell and it simply would not be enough.

I started to shake my head back and forth, taking a step away from this sleeping beauty. Emmett blocked me by stepping behind me and stilling my movements. I felt his warm breath on my ear as he leaned in to whisper, "Bella, everything that has ever happened to you in your entire life has been leading up to this moment. You are in the middle of what is just like a Disney drama, except you are the motherfucking Prince. Now, get your ass over there and kiss your Sleeping Beauty. And then fuck his brains out."

I took a few steps toward my Sleeping Beauty before I hesitated, unsure of myself yet again.

Strong hands turned me by the shoulders to face him, and there was a sparkle in Emmett's eye as he began to mutter, his voice lowering even more, "Trust, Bella. Trust in Fucking."

His booming laugh reverberated around the room as he took a step back and slapped my ass. He looked around at everyone and said, "I think we should leave these two alone. We'll know when he wakes up." He snickered and pushed me forward towards the bed.

No matter how crazy this was, I knew that Emmett was right. Everything in my life was leading me up to this moment. It was now or never. I sighed and walked over to the bed. I still felt that magnetic pull towards him, like fate and gravity weren't going to let me get away from this. His eyes fluttered softly as I leaned down and pressed my lips gently to his.

In that instant, every fiber of my being woke up. Every cell of my body called out to him. The kiss was chaste and innocent, but it caused an explosion inside of me and heat radiated from every pore of my body. I quickly stripped off my clothes and drew back the blanket.

I sucked in a breath when I saw his beautiful, glorious cock. It was like a prize I was receiving for fighting the hardest fight of my life. I wanted to drop down to my knees in worship and adulation, but there was no time for that. My body craved his as much as it needed oxygen. It was as if I would cease to exist if our bodies weren't joined together. There was no question about what I had to do.

I clamored up his body, caressing his legs and drawing small circles on his hips. I ran my hands across the planes of his tight, muscular chest and abdomen. I leaned down and circled his nipple with my tongue as I gently caressed the other with my fingertips, relishing the feeling I received when they became erect in response to my ministrations.

Feeling guilty about something that I considered bordered on assault, I almost stopped myself. But I wanted him so badly, I couldn't stop. And if he didn't respond right away, I would have to. But the pull was too strong; I had to have him…

I _needed_ to fuck him.

Kissing up the column of his neck and along his jaw, I ran my hands through his mop of bronze hair. I scooted down and rubbed my body against his, pressing my breasts into his chest. Taking his beautiful cock into my hand, I stroked the pad of my thumb against him, gathering the liquid that had seeped out at the tip before I stroked his hard length once.

I needed to taste him. His eyes fluttered as I ran my tongue from the base to the tip of his cock before swirling my tongue around his head and moaning deeply. I brought him into my mouth, licking and sucking as much as I could take. He tasted like sunshine and it was all I could do to control my movements enough to focus on him for a few moments. Feeling impatient to have him inside of me, I moved back up his body and straddled his hips.

I positioned myself right over him and grazed his tip against my entrance before slowly sinking down on his member, inch by splendid inch. When he was fully sheathed inside of me, his body let out an involuntary shudder as a moan escaped from his beautiful lips. I had never felt so complete in my entire life. It was as if the stars aligned and I was _home_.

I leaned down to kiss him and pressed my lips to his, willing them to open to me. I moaned softly into his mouth as I splayed my fingers over his pecs, gently scratching and grazing his nipples. I slowly began to roll my hips, up and down, up and down, rocking over him in a seductive rhythm.

Suddenly, his hips thrust up to meet mine and a low moan emitted from deep in his throat. He _growled_. It was the most erotic thing I had ever heard. I sat up straighter, picking up my pace. I moved my hands down his abdomen, using his strong muscles for leverage as I started to move faster, pulling him deeper.

Heat surged between us as I arched my back and reached up with one hand to palm my own breast. I wanted his hands on me so badly. I wanted to know that he could feel this too. He had to be able to feel the passion that was coursing through our bodies. We fit together so perfectly, it was as if we were made for each other.

My moans reverberated around the room as I rode him harder, grinding myself on him with abandon. Each movement intensified my deep need for release; each time I lifted myself and plunged back down onto his spectacular cock brought me closer to climax.

His hands shot out to my hips as if by instinct and his jaw clenched as he bit back a groan, but he still seemed to be in a deep sleep. Suddenly, his piercing green eyes opened and seared into me, halting my movements.

Sleeping Beauty had awoken.

**EPOV**

This had to be a dream. There was no way in hell that I was laying here, asleep, and some chick was all up on my dick like this. Then I felt it.

Flames… Flames were consuming me.

I felt a spark of heat on my lips for a moment and then a scorching line of fire that burned up the side of my neck and across my jaw before devouring my cock in the most delicious passion I have ever felt. Cocooning me in a blaze that rendered me and all of my past into a pile of ash, the blaze radiated in waves, resulting in a flame from my cock, moving across my chest and emanating out all over my body.

My eyes fluttered when I heard a deep moan, causing my cock to harden further. It was like I was trying to wake up, but couldn't. I was in the middle of the best dream of my entire life. The heat that was rolling off of my dream girl was like nothing I had ever felt; it was all-encompassing and so real.

And that is when I heard it: the moans, the sounds she was making, the whimpers. This girl was real, and she was here, fucking me senseless. I groaned loudly as my hands shot out to her hips, stilling her movements. I opened my eyes, meeting her gaze. The connection was instantaneous. She was the one.

I sat up in a flash, wrapping my arms around her. She gasped in surprise as I anchored her down onto me harder with my left arm and snaked my right arm up her back and threaded my fingers in the thick tresses at the base of her neck, angling her head so I could plant a searing kiss on her full red lips.

"Tell me your name," I growled as I thrust my hips up, encouraging her to continue fucking me. I reached down and moved her legs, positioning them around my waist. She arched her back, pressing her tits into my chest and brought her hands up around my neck.

I dipped my head down and started placing wet open-mouth kisses along her neck before licking and sucking on her collarbones. She elicited a low, sultry moan and began rocking into me again.

"Look at me." I stilled her hips again and her eyes snapped up to meet my stare. She whimpered and circled her hips again. It took every bit of concentration that I could muster for me to stop her movements as I pressed my forehead to hers and panted into her mouth. "Please, please tell me your name."

Finally, her resolve wavered and she choked out, "Bella. My name is Bella." She gripped the sides of my face with her little hands and looked deep into my eyes. I leaned forward slightly, taking her bottom lip into my mouth and sucking gently.

I groaned as I lifted my hips again, desperate for her to begin moving up and down over my cock again. I knew it, knew there would have to be a beautiful name to go with the beautiful girl. "Oh Bella, Bella, Bella," I chanted against her lips as we continued to rock together.

Time stood still as I took in the sensation of this girl. I guided her movements up and down my shaft as I thought about everything that had happened. The fact of the matter was, this girl was the one. Only the fuck of true love could have caused me to wake up after that paper cut.

Her moans echoed around the room as she shifted herself, leaning back slightly and causing me to thrust into her at a deeper angle. I moved my hand down her body, to where we were joined, and rubbed her clit in small, tight circles. She cried out and gripped my shoulders for leverage. I felt her trembling and shuddering as I wrapped my other arm around her, driving harder into her and willing her to come.

In one breathtakingly beautiful moment, I heard her sharp intake of breath as my name started rolling from her lips and her pussy started clamping around my cock. I shuddered and pulled her down onto me in one swift motion, holding on to her shoulder as I spilled inside of her and grunted out, "Bella, oh god, Bella."

After a few moments of catching our breaths, we looked at each other and wrapped our arms around each other tightly. Her eyes were full of tears as she leaned forward and whispered to me, "I never knew it could feel like this. I just didn't know."

I winked at her mischievously before responding, "Oh Bella, didn't you ever hear? Trust in Fucking."

_**And they lived happily ever after. The end.**_

*

* * *

**Ghetto Slang 101**

DSLs – Dick Sucking Lips

Slore – slut + whore

Ish - shit

Whats good – whats up, hello, a greeting

Crunk – wild, crazy

Donk - ass

Clank- Jail


End file.
